How didn’t she realize how perfect she was? I swallowed, affected more than she could know by her generosity, her selflessness. She didn’t act as if my touch were poison to her. Not when, finally, I felt like Keira saw me for what I truly was. I’d given the security guard a heads up to let a brother through the gates, just in case Rex or Digger arrived, but now wasn’t the best timing. The sound of an engine rumbled to life, half pipes with it, and when a solitary light pierced the kitchen window, I wasn’t altogether surprised that the biker was coming to our house. I just… I did the best I could, and that was nothing in comparison to what you brought to our family. “You’ve no idea how many times I almost tried. “Suicide?” she interrupted, a horrified gasp to her words.
Trying to fix my fuck ups, to make shit right. I’m so sick of being on the ground, looking up. I’ve been there so many fucking times, K. “Because you leaving me… I hit rock bottom. “Even then.”Ī shocked breath escaped her. My jaw ached with how hard I clenched down. “Even if I never take you back? Even when I get a boyfriend?” “You’re self-harming,” she repeated grittily. “So, instead of drugs, and rather than jack off or fuck to escape the drugs, you’re self-harming?” “Yes.” It fucking ached like a son of a bitch. But I’d upped the gauge with another custom-built device. “I asked you before and you said no, but I don’t believe you.
If I have to spend the rest of my life- It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to forgive me, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying. And that’s okay.” I released a shaky breath. “I’ll never be able to earn your forgiveness, Keira. When it did, it was after a meltdown, after I got high. When shit got hard, and I wanted to get high, I’d jack off instead. “You could have come to me,” she mumbled miserably.
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